WTF, NWR

I have been alternating between completing my thesis /working on applications to PhD programs and grading.

I am tired of writing the same comments on papers and trying to decipher whether, in any circumstance, x could be a valid answer.
What I really want to write on MOST of the papers is WTF, NWR (What the Fuck, Not Worth Reading).

I figure these abbreviations are perhaps more beneficial than my 1/2 page of suggestions on how to improve one's writing. Based on the redundancy of mistakes, no one is bothering to read those.

Update- because it's more fun than my thesis or personal statement

A vignette between myself and one of the students with lame excuses:

After the second midterm

Txting Timmy: "It's really easy if you read."

Me (to myself): "No shit asshole."
Me (out loud): "It is always easier if you've prepared. How do you feel about the test?"

Txting Timmy: "It was so easy, like a high school test. I didn't answer the last two 'cause I didn't know them."

Me (to myself): "The last two questions were true/false. You've got a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly--simply stunning."
Me (out loud): "K, see you later."

Lame Excuses

Why didn't you complete the study guide?

"The internet was down on campus."
The internet was down the ENTIRE weekend. I received emails from some of you.

"I don't get your emails on the school's email account."
I told you that if you preferred you could give me another email address. None of you chose to do that.

"Can I show you my work tomorrow, cause I didn't have time to do this."
No. I don't care if you chose to complete the study guide. But given that most of you scored in the 50-60 range, you might want to try to listen to the review AND work through the study guide for yourself.

Trying Something New

Today I am going to try turning off the TV and writing the last couple of bits (that's being a little generous) of my thesis. It's a novel concept. I decided I should take my own advice and use some of those time management skills I am always harping about to my students.

My New Mantra

My potential as a scholar is not defined by my score on the GRE diagnostic quiz.

Speaking of Fashion

I covet this Christian Dior bag. It is ridiculously overpriced (I'm actually too embarrassed to admit how much it really does cost-about the same as my car is worth). I will never own it, but I love it. I am scouring everywhere for a knockoff, but so far no luck. So for now I am torturing myself by going to the Dior web page instead of searching journal articles or writing.

Grade This

My students should really be happy that I've had a couple of drinks before I grade their essays.

Margaritas: They don't make it better, but they make it possible.

Into a Death Trap

No, this time I am not referring to my students.
I made the mistake of going to Walmart on a Saturday at 11am. (I'm pretty sure that this means I have officially lost my mind... and right around midterms, not a moment too soon.)

I was adrift in a sea of cart wielding, blue-haired grannies aimlessly wandering through the health and beauty aisles. I was almost hit twice while trying to find the best mascara under $8. I guess it is my fault though, I didn't realize how close I was to the tubs of cold cream and industrial-sized bags of cotton balls. It puzzles me that Walmart can pass on the savings so you can buy a Coke for 25 cents or a gallon of bleach for a dollar, but you can't find mascara that won't flake into your contacts when you're driving for under 5 bucks.

Having found a flake free mascara for only $6, I'll spend the rest of my day grading essays, figuring out how to explain APA format to freshmen without killing myself, and contemplating just what makes me a valuable addition to x PhD program.