Update- because it's more fun than my thesis or personal statement

A vignette between myself and one of the students with lame excuses:

After the second midterm

Txting Timmy: "It's really easy if you read."

Me (to myself): "No shit asshole."
Me (out loud): "It is always easier if you've prepared. How do you feel about the test?"

Txting Timmy: "It was so easy, like a high school test. I didn't answer the last two 'cause I didn't know them."

Me (to myself): "The last two questions were true/false. You've got a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly--simply stunning."
Me (out loud): "K, see you later."