Life Before Masters

No Really I DID move

2009-08-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

and I finally made an attempt at the new blog...

Moving

2009-07-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

Did I mention I'm moving?

You can find me here.

Any Ideas?!?

2009-07-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

I am thinking that my fresh academic start should be accompanied by a fresh start to a new blog...

So... I need a clever new name... and I got only mildly humorous ideas....

Please help....

2 Weeks Notice

2009-07-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well it's almost August... that means it's time to quit whatever BS job I've managed to land to actually pay the bills and head back to another semester.

This year is very exciting as I head east. Particularly since I have landed a pretty sweet TAship... I get to be the only instructor, but don't have the onus of creating daily lesson plans, much less a syllabus.

So today I turned in my two weeks notice. Nearly over are the days of chatting up older gentlemen about their prostates and entering data about their desire to not be incontinent.

Listen Up

2009-06-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hey middle-aged men....

I know that it is going to be hot outside today and I know that we live in one of the lamer "cities" in CA, but come on. There is NO reason for all of you to wear Hawaiian shirts to work today.*

1. They are not any of the following... attractive, cool, fun, appropriate for a workplace.
2. There is air conditioning in the offices you work in.

*Nearly every car I passed on the way to work had a guy with one on.

Phrases You Need for Work

2009-06-22T13:50:00.001-07:00

Today on email homepage there is an article about phrases you need to know for work. I'd like to add a personal favorite...

Fu@king the Dog
Definition: slacking off at work; not doing one's work in order to do other things (like a blog post)
Origin: Smalltown, Mississippi (actually one of the few good things to come out of Smalltown, MS)
Other Forms: F'ing the D
Example Usage:
Worker 1: Whatcha doin?
Worker 2: Oh, not much... just fu@king the dog.

For SMH

2009-06-18T12:52:00.000-07:00

I think I remember pulling out these sweet moves at a party and on a bus in Spain...

Nostaglia Update

2009-06-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

... the nostalgia didn't last long...
I got the most ridiculous answers to the short answer questions.

Reasons they should have answered the short answers better:
1: We spent 2 (count them 2) weeks on this topic
2: I told them it was the topic of my thesis so I would definitely put it on the test
3: One of the questions was worded EXACTLY the same as a sample question from the study guide

The "best" answer I got....
They brought the idea of ideology to....

Ah yes, the ever elusive idea of ideology

The End of an Era

2009-05-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

So my academic career here in far far west has concluded-today I gave my last final.* In my five years here I got an MA and survived a whole year of professing. I'm not sure which was harder.
I must say I'm feeling rather nostalgic. I don't know if it is the massive amounts of wine I consumed over the weekend with Hubby and SMH (photos to follow) or if I really will miss this place-maybe a little of both.

Nonetheless, I still had a very Southern thought today...
"I kinda feel like crying, but I won't- my eye makeup looks good!"

*I know, I still have to grade them, but still...

It must be contagious...

2009-05-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

No... Not El Gripe Puerco... Making an ass of yourself

I received my annual lecturer evaluation in my box and noticed that it said I didn't teach in Spring 2008.
So I asked the office who I should contact about this mistake. Then contacted the chair of the department, who investigated... and reported back to me...
Right, this is Spring 2009- when I am teaching. The letter is for Spring 2008- when I did not teach in the department...

El Gripe Puerco

2009-05-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

No I don't have Swine Flu, but my laptop does...
It is with a squad of geeks being repaired so I don't lose ALL my files....

Since that will take a couple of days we finally broke down and purchased a new desktop (we've been putting it off for 2 years).It is fancy indeed and we got a good deal on it because it was "open box." Normally that is no big deal, but the original owner kept it just long enough for everything to be in Korean. But thanks to careful searching on the mini screen of the iphone I was able to return everything to factory settings.

Amateur Mistake

2009-04-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Complaining about passive voice... amateur mistake....

Possibly the worst sentence ever written....

"Historically, Culturally, and socially are characteristics of mariachi and it is why its so important."

Passive Voice

2009-04-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

I know that not everyone had Father Butler for their freshman year (IN HIGH SCHOOL) English class, but really you guys are juniors and seniors quit using the passive voice! As Father Butler pointed out if you can say "by Clyde" after it- don't use it!

And while we're at it let's learn some other adjectives besides important and good.... oh and another adverb besides really- quit modifying things, it's really quite boring.

And maybe focus an essay... and have a thesis... and ... time for a bottle of wine

New Books- Very Exciting

2009-03-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

I ordered some books from amazon- that qualified for free shipping- and they should be there when I get home today!!! One of them I am very excited about...

Praise for Who Defines Indigenous?

"Virtually all of the scholarship on identity sees it as something that comes from the bottom-up. Martinez Novo recognizes the popular side of identity formation, but also looks at the process from the top down. How do more powerful actors-state institutions, intellectuals, elites, NGOs, etc.-try, in an imperfect and messy way, to mold collective identities? Martinez Novo not only poses this rather interesting problem, but investigates it with an innovative methodology and supports it with sound scholarship."

-Steve Striffler, author of In the Shadows of State and Capital

Looks like I'm headed here

2009-03-25T14:53:00.001-07:00

After a very nice rejection, and one that was lame, it looks as though I'm heading east!

Luck o' the Irish

2009-03-17T09:13:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Accepted!

2009-02-18T12:05:00.000-08:00

After a one round of rejections last year, I am happy to report that my first letter was an ACCEPTANCE letter!

Valentine's Day Weekend

2009-02-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

The weekend began with a phone interview at top-tier grad program. I honestly have NO IDEA how it went. It was hard to get a read on the outcome (since I've never met the people, couldn't see their faces, and one was foreign). I did my best though, considering I could hear myself in their speaker phone.

Saturday was rearrange the house and get rid of CRAP day. We've been meaning to get on this, but the upcoming arrival of my parents and a new sofa made it a priority this weekend. Thanks to CAD I now have a new (to me) living room futon and a old sofa for the computer room. Hubby made lasagna and we watched a very romantic movie... The Godfather, part II.

The rest of the weekend will be spent reading, playing the interview over and over in my head, and finishing my cross-stitch of a chihuahua.

Yes, from the guy whose probably not going to pass the class...

2009-02-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

Some Gems from the first couple of weeks of school....
First, 5 non-traditional students of 48 is too many for one class. They will do their best to derail every train of thought.

One in particular is going to do me in before the semester is over- I'm sure of it.
For your enjoyment....
Episode One:
"How do we find cities [for the map test] we don't know? Do we just look them up."
"Yep..." [you could even use some newfangled technology like an atlas or the world wide web]

Episode Two:
"Can I ask you a question without it hurting your feelings?"
"Sure."
"Will we have videos or games or something besides lecture, because it's kinda boring to just sit here."
"Well, it is a lecture based class [because it is an UPPER DIVISION COLLEGE class]. There will be occasional videos, but mostly lecture."
"Ok. Just wanted to let you know that."

At the Grocery

2009-01-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

Found a funny post on 8 Customers Everyone Hates.
I would like to add the lady behind you in the grocery store checkout line that stands too close, huffs when you manually enter your customer number (back off I'm going to save $1.00 on those wheat thins I bought!), then pushes her cart into your heels as you put your receipt in your purse.

Pants on Fire

2009-01-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Meeting with the last of my cheaters today. He just won't give it up. Despite NOT replying to me for 2 weeks he has tried the following excuses:
"You didn't tell me I had to cite."
You would have to cite that entire essay you turned in... it was verbatim from webpages. Oh, and I did include citing in the directions.
"I pay a lot for school."
Then don't cheat.
"I don't need an A just to pass."
You couldn't have gotten an A if you had gotten 100 on the exam. Also, a D is a passing grade, just not one you like.
The joys of teaching never end.

Resolutions

2009-01-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

1. Exercise and eat right.
2. Keep house clean.
3. Declutter house and life.
4. Read for fun, too.

Personal Statements

2009-01-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

Just finishing up my personal statement... I think it is in its 40th incarnation and finally has the right balance of my personality and my future research.

I hope they all like it and I find myself with a difficult decision of where to go versus the pain of receiving rejection letters on St. Paddy's day (again)!

DELAYS

2008-12-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

14 hours of travel EACH way!!!!!! And nothing to show for it! Well, I did see an old friend and got a very nice new purse from the in-laws. But don't know that it was worth the frustration of flying and numerous other petty disagreements.
Hubby did get me a nice recorder. Now I can record my thoughts on the causeway. (I refrained from recording my thoughts in my 6 extra hours in the airport!)
I finally made it back last night (at midnight instead of 6 pm) and ended up with a migraine today and a broken Internet connection.
It's been a helluva month.

Apply...

2008-12-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

Wise up Grad Programs! Don't have an electronic application that requires me to print off 30 pages of crap and mail it in... my life is not that stable and I don't have enough printer ink... this is going to require a trip to staples and/or campus.

I will survive

2008-12-13T07:52:00.001-08:00

It's been my mantra this past week.
So far I've survived: teaching the WHOLE semester, grading 50 papers, and my first grad app. Still my in-laws to go!

If only I looked like that in red spandex pants and rollerskates!

Evaluations

2008-12-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's course (read Instructor) evaluation day!
Despite my usual level of anxiety at times like these, I couldn't care less. I already got a nice review from a faculty member and don't really care about what the little grade-grubbers think about my book selections.
I, like my students, am done for the semester. I, like my students, am focusing on my own life.
AND
I found a little post on RYS that reinforced the point that essentially these evals. mean little to my future:
"Your responses provide important information we use to evaluate part-time instructors for re-hiring and scheduling of future classes. Although, to be fair, part-timers are so cheap and pliable, that unless you report that your instructors have been sodomizing animals in lieu of lecturing, we'll probably hire them all back and put them in your classes again next semester. It gives a nice break to our real professors who are trying to get ready for tenure and promotion."

Success!

2008-12-04T19:27:00.000-08:00

Suck on that GRE! Up 160 points! Now All I have left off my list....
Oh yeah, EVERYTHING ELSE!

Two Weeks of To Do

2008-11-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

1. Grade 50 papers (maybe some won't turn them in?!)
2. Grade 50 tests
3. Retake the GRE (Tuesday)
4. Lecture at least 5 more times
5. Start and Finish 5 Applications for PhDland
6. Buy tickets to see the in-laws with the measly check they gave us for airfare
7. Contact cat-sitter
8. Manage to not lose my mind
9. Manage to not gain more weight and maybe lose some
10. Clean my house so the cat sitter doesn't judge me, can't handle a repeat of last year

First Worldwide Festival of Dignified Rage

2008-11-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

"Our voice is small to be the echo of that word, our gaze small for so
much dignified rage.

The process of seeing each other, looking at each other, speaking to
each other, listening to each other, is still lacking.

We are others, the other.

If this world does not have a place for us, then another world must be made.

With no tool other than our rage, no material other than our dignity."

...

Thanks tac for making sure I had this! Looks like there will be a job for me after all!

Anywhere a Mouse Can Go...

2008-11-13T12:12:00.000-08:00

Way to go class! Stellar use of prepositions!

"Slavery was very common among Bob."
"He saw the workers of trying to take advantage of him."
"The workers went in great lengths."
"Mexico has gone thru many changes." (Though not used incorrectly, still must be spelled right.)
"In this time of period..."

Dance Off

2008-10-28T13:04:00.001-07:00

Dancing with the Stars

2008-10-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Here's the lineup for next season....

I hate the GRE

2008-10-09T12:31:00.001-07:00

No witty remarks. Simply, I hate it!
I found an error in the prep CD that GRE sends out: "In the 1960's scientists thought blah, blah, blah.

Despite my acute editorial eye, I am spending the day in the"quiet study" portion of Big State U's library, next to the garrulous douche bags that comprise our student population, hoping for a quantitative epiphany.

WTF (part 2)

2008-10-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

A student email received by a TA friend:

"Quick question i know that we took notes in class on words and different things. there are certains that you gave us a more well to remebr definition should we know both of what the book says or is just knowing you gave us in class is good?"

No You Cannot Cite Wikipedia

2008-10-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

What if you had Wikipedia as a professor?

Reflect this GRE

2008-09-28T17:59:00.001-07:00

Geometry in no way reflect my abilities in CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY!
I doubt this will ever be an equation I have to figure out...

What is the area of the sector occupied by 5 Mayans sitting in a circle of 15 Mayans?

(I think the answer would be 1/3 the area of total Mayans!)

Exhausted

2008-09-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

16.5 hours of GRE cramming this weekend+extreme levels of anxiety+having to prepare for lecture today!
................................................

During GRE class I came to fully understand how much I must show I am not annoying and would make an excellent grad student in my personal statement; I would have shot 9/15 students within the first semester of working with them!

Also, the smart instructor pointed out that no matter how much you study there will be words that no one knows on the test. His example? "COOPER" Um... someone that makes barrels (evidently, I'm the first to ever know what it is... and yes I knew the meaning before my stint in the wine industry) I think I learned cooper with blacksmith and mason in 6th grade history. Also we live near major wine area of the world... has no one ever read a book about a winery?

First Day Dress Dilemma Solved

2008-09-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/04/30/97-scarves/

A scarf... not typically worn by undergrads...
and as a bonus it's from Mexico... problem solved.

Men banned from national parks after vandalism - Boston.com

2008-09-02T16:25:00.001-07:00

Men banned from national parks after vandalism - Boston.com

Posted using ShareThis

While working in wine world, I always drove by this sign and it was all I could do not to pull over and fix it... "Fresh Strawberries and Cherry's"

What are yours?

The Iron Cage of Bureaucray

2008-09-01T11:21:00.001-07:00

I'm so happy to have a job that doesn't involve trying to sell people on the joys of working in the wine industry or feigning a "passion for human resources" that this all is only slightly more than an annoyance...

-Contract did not come in until Friday-therefore not signable until Tuesday.
-Can't finish syllabus for printing... don't have email address yet!
-Can't upload documents to LOCUS or send to the reserve room...don't have emial!
-Can't see class list...don't have access to computer system because i don't have email!
-Can't contact computer helpdesk to try to figure out the email situation... holiday weekend!

But can finish all of MY outside reading for the first week (which means going to the bookstore for coffee) and probably can work in a pedicure (thanks to TAC for the suggestion!)

Gladys from Austin

2008-08-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

PreSemester Guilty Pleasures

2008-08-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

One of guiltiest pleasures ever... the song and enrique... although I think he was better pre-mole removal...

HR the good way

2008-07-23T14:57:00.000-07:00

Spent the day with two of the gooodies from the office at one of our properties in Amador county....

Then ate pretty good Mexican food at the local restaurant. Some of the best jalapeno poppers I've had!

Back in time to watch trash T.V. or read by the pool, or in the comfort of my messy living room... still haven't decided yet.

Students as Consumers

2008-07-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

Suck on this Gonzo:
RYS

Preparing for the Semester

2008-07-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

To Do BEFORE the semester starts:

1. Visit with potential future advisors?

2. Raise GRE score by at least 100 points.

3. Finish the readings for class.

4. Figure out if we're moving.

5. Figure out where I can GET IN!

6. Publish something, or at least submit it.

7. Cry a little.

8. Clean the house; purge it of unnecessary items (may include books, cat, and/or husband).

9. Lose weight.

10. Buy an iphone! (I bet this gets done first)

** Update:**

Did not complete anything on list, but did come up with a plan for Fall 2009:

Summer T-Storms

2008-07-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

This posting from the daily picture of NOLA made me think about how much I miss sitting in the front porch swing of my grandparents house and listening to the rain on the tin roof. I also miss how fresh everything smells after it rains in the summer. It's one of the great smells of the South, along with fried okra!

Tick, Tick, Tick

2008-06-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

book order to campus bookstore-Check!
letter of interest to chair- Check!

the sound of the HR job clock counting down!

Blew My Mind

2008-06-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

Padma is married to Salman Rushdie?!*

Thank God, I watch VH1, otherwise I'd never had learned this tidbit.

Back to catching up on my history of Mexico!

* Oh, they divorced in 2007, but still...

Intersections

2008-05-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

The intersection of my day job (wine) and my career (academia/drunkenness)!

Approved

2008-05-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

The thesis is in and approved by graduate studies... I am officially out of Dodge!
YAHOO!!!!!

Different Strokes

2008-04-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

I understand that different people need different things when they study or write.
I need peace and quiet, but know that some (the guy sitting across from me in the computer lab) need a little background music, but does it have to be the same song on repeat!

And a Musician

2008-04-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Oh... and I love a musician...

Do you think this will hurt my chances to become independently wealthy one day?

La Lucha Sigue

2008-04-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

How I love a revolutionary...

Although the day we met, he didn't have that "barba," just the mustache. More to come I'm sure.

A little advice

2008-04-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

... from RYS regarding how to get through that dissertation.

Final Edits

2008-04-20T07:30:00.001-07:00

Making the final edits in the thesis!
WOOT WOOT!

Put this one in perspective

2008-03-17T19:10:00.000-07:00

Rejection letter 2. This time from number one choice and the school's city DOES NOT smell like fertilizer. It's a very cool city in my homeland. But hey, there's always my job...cry, cry, cry.

You really want to bring him back?

2008-03-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

Since there are no TA positions in the Spring, I am once again moonlighting as a high-powered HR intern. Yes, it is as glamorous as you think!
My day consists of calling people to schedule phone interviews, in-person interviews, drug screens, and pre-employment physicals. Oh and I get to do reference and background checks.

Recently a forklift driver came in for his interview and to fill out our application, that I copy onto "buff" paper (TC it's very similar to the goldenrod you adore from the museum). He first asked if he really had to put in his Social Security number. YES, that's why we ask for it. He then asked how much detail he needed on his job history, because he didn't come prepared to fill out the application. Really, I told you on the phone you would be completing an application before your interview. He followed this up with a discussion of whether he should mark "yes" or "no" for the "Have you ever been convicted of a felony or serious misdemeanor?" Sir, I can't tell you what to mark. Just answer the questions as best you can. This response was followed up by a recounting of his "messy divorce" and criminal trespassing charges. The ultimate conclusion was that he would mark yes, because he is "Too DAMN honest to mark anything else." Good to know sir; and thanks for swearing in the interview process.

When I finally got the application back the work history didn't even include company names. I can understand the date being a little hazy, but the company names?

At the end of the interview process the hiring manager told my boss that he probably wouldn't be able to pass the obstacle course, but we should bring him back and see. Maybe I am wrong, but I get the impression that this guy could be a liability!?!

Welcome to my hell, but it's a well-paid hell!

Putting It in Perspective

2008-03-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

Received first letter (read email) from a school...rejection, but CD reminded me of a very important point, "[school's city] sucks, anyway. It smells like fertilizer."
You're so right!

Thesisizing, Part II

2008-02-18T14:23:00.001-08:00

Full draft is turned in!

Thesisizing

2008-02-10T19:17:00.001-08:00

The only good thing on MTV (can you tell how dedicated I am to my thesis?)

You can all feel safe knowing

2008-02-08T16:26:00.000-08:00

Interesting, as I live so close to the Sierras...
30%

SLAC

2008-02-04T16:22:00.001-08:00

We need more Moms like this

2008-01-17T10:21:00.000-08:00

Overheard in my Starbucks office...
To her daughter: "It really doesn't matter if you do well in school."

If more mothers were like this, teaching would be so much easier.*

*I hope your picking up the sarcasm, 'cause I'm laying it on pretty thick!

googling the day away

2008-01-14T15:27:00.000-08:00

I had a really productive weekend that included thesis work and house cleaning, but I have been a slug all day today!
I did have a good chuckle at these comments grad students wanted to write on papers, but couldn't.
This makes me ponder what my contributions would be... I did write on a paper "3 inch margins, you have got to be kidding me," but the student didn't come to the last class so she never saw it.
I've always felt like writing, "Congratulations, I've spent more time on this paper than you did."

What are yours?

Something Clever (thesis edition)

2008-01-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

Really there is nothing clever or interesting happening in my life... I've been hold up in Fivebucks drinking coffee and revising the 88 pages that are my thesis. I've got no students to compare my writing to, so I was a little down until I realized I've got no students!

In Fivebucks I did overhear a student from SLACK U talking about his study skills class and his b*tch professor. He wasn't my student, so I wondered which of my fellow TAs was his b*tch professor. Judging from his unrelenting desire to look like a homeless man, I'm guessing there is another side to that story.

In an unrelated note: in my efforts to procrastinate I googled writing a research paper and this image came up:

First, who is writing a research paper with a nib pen?

Second, why is there a leather strap? Maybe for shooting up? Or wrapping around your neck when the perfect synonym escapes you?

Starting the Year Off Right?

2008-01-03T08:32:00.001-08:00

The Car-- Dec. 30

The hubby and I got back from a nice visit with my parents at 6:55 pm. We went to baggage claim and retrieved all our bags and walked right on to the shuttle to long-term parking. We got off at 42G (right where hubby told me he had parked). The car is nowhere to be found. So we walked around.... NO CAR. So we walk some more....NO CAR. So we yell and walk through the gravel parking lot dragging 2 rolling bags and a hanging bag... NO CAR.

I finally stop a shuttle and find out that if we know our license plate number the airport can tell us where our car is. I guess we are the only people that don't know our plate numbers. So I call the insurance company... they will know that kind of info, right? NOPE. But they have the VIN numbers.... that probably won't help us out at 8 pm in the dark, cold, unpaved parking lot.

I call parking info for help. They allow 1 of us to drive up and down the aisles looking for our car. Hubby goes. I stay in the shuttle stop and manage to create perhaps the wierdest outfit from Christmas presents: husband's hat and sweater, own purple leather gloves, husband's new gym socks, and own running shoes (thank God I imagined I was going to work out during the vacation).

8:55 Hubby returns sans car. It won't start, battery is dead. I call parking info for help. They eventually come and jump the car.

We finally check out of parking at 9:45 pm.
P.S. The car was parked in 42 H, but in the middle section, not the end section where we were looking.

The Phone-- Dec. 31

Hubby and I go into the city for NYE. Still recovering from the car episode, we get a late start to the train. We arrive in the city around 11:15pm. On the way out of the train station, I realize by cell phone is no longer in my pocket. GREAT.

We walk to friend's hotel room and call the phone. No answer. We call once more. No answer. Hubby calls one more time... ANSWER, in Spanish. Hubby took German in highschool, so he is of no use. I work my magic and arrange to meet them at a train station in another part of the city. 11:40pm Hubby and I catch a cab to said train station.

11:57 We arrive, but they aren't there. I call back and try to give directions to what exit of the trian station I am at. We count down to the new year with the cab driver from Zimbabwe. He was quite dapper in his suit.

12:05 phone arrives!

Best Sentences of the Semester

2007-12-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

"The ability to manipulate people threw he say/she say I believe is amazing."
-From a student looking forward to a career in law, he didn't specify which side.

"There was a time, like in the 1800s, when women were not valued for their beauty."
-Written in test essay in purple pen.

"Boy was u wrong."
-Why this would ever need to be written in even a quasi-academic paper puzzles me.

"But now that I have had time to reflect, I now see how it has been detrimental to my success in my first semester of college."
-In an essay on how x program HELPED him. Right click, synonym...not antonym.

Shopping for Chotchkies

2007-12-10T17:03:00.000-08:00

As much as I hate supporting the school bookstore, they have some wonderful crap for those who are more inclined to eccentric (i.e. ridiculous or odd) gifts (i.e. academics, specifically anthropologists).

Essays

2007-12-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

My students are struggling with the concept of identify AND explain.

I am struggling with the concept of describing " your motivation, academic preparation, and aptitude for graduate study...describe your academic plans and research interests, your specialization within your academic field, your research experiences and your career goals." in 500 words.

two of my favorite things

2007-11-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

Kittens and Pessimism...brilliant!

Please

2007-11-19T19:02:00.000-08:00

22 bucks for transcripts from one school with NO rush orders... please AND waiting in line for 45 min to place the order.

going to a state school is a great deal until you realize you'll pay out the nose for for every "extra."

Getting Up Early is the Pits

2007-11-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

What I have done since waking up at 5:30:

1. Said a rosary to put myself back to sleep. This always works. I'm usually in La-La Land by the second batch of Hail Marys.
2. Checked my email.
3. Played on blog.
4. Checked my email-still nothing new.
5. Fed the cat and the husband.
6. Played on Myspace/Facebook.
7. Contemplated my new haircut. It has gotten mixed reviews.
8. Checked my email-still nothing new.
9. Revised personal statement.
10. Checked my email-new email from myself.
11. Played on blog (again).

Teachers are People Too

2007-11-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

"Prof. F did you ever drink when you were in college?"
No. I was locked in a room on campus and only let out to attend classes and go to the library. I never drank or had any fun. All I did was read and write.*

"As the only White person in the class, I think..."
Dear students I too am White and a person.

*Despite the fact that this is currently all I do (plus teaching my little darlings), I did have moments of greatness as an undergrad. I looking forward to their return.

WTF, NWR

2007-10-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

I have been alternating between completing my thesis /working on applications to PhD programs and grading.

I am tired of writing the same comments on papers and trying to decipher whether, in any circumstance, x could be a valid answer.
What I really want to write on MOST of the papers is WTF, NWR (What the Fuck, Not Worth Reading).

I figure these abbreviations are perhaps more beneficial than my 1/2 page of suggestions on how to improve one's writing. Based on the redundancy of mistakes, no one is bothering to read those.

Update- because it's more fun than my thesis or personal statement

2007-10-24T14:47:00.001-07:00

A vignette between myself and one of the students with lame excuses:

After the second midterm

Txting Timmy: "It's really easy if you read."

Me (to myself): "No shit asshole."
Me (out loud): "It is always easier if you've prepared. How do you feel about the test?"

Txting Timmy: "It was so easy, like a high school test. I didn't answer the last two 'cause I didn't know them."

Me (to myself): "The last two questions were true/false. You've got a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly--simply stunning."
Me (out loud): "K, see you later."

Lame Excuses

2007-10-23T08:14:00.001-07:00

Why didn't you complete the study guide?

"The internet was down on campus."
The internet was down the ENTIRE weekend. I received emails from some of you.

"I don't get your emails on the school's email account."
I told you that if you preferred you could give me another email address. None of you chose to do that.

"Can I show you my work tomorrow, cause I didn't have time to do this."
No. I don't care if you chose to complete the study guide. But given that most of you scored in the 50-60 range, you might want to try to listen to the review AND work through the study guide for yourself.

Trying Something New

2007-10-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to try turning off the TV and writing the last couple of bits (that's being a little generous) of my thesis. It's a novel concept. I decided I should take my own advice and use some of those time management skills I am always harping about to my students.

My New Mantra

2007-10-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

My potential as a scholar is not defined by my score on the GRE diagnostic quiz.

Speaking of Fashion

2007-10-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

I covet this Christian Dior bag. It is ridiculously overpriced (I'm actually too embarrassed to admit how much it really does cost-about the same as my car is worth). I will never own it, but I love it. I am scouring everywhere for a knockoff, but so far no luck. So for now I am torturing myself by going to the Dior web page instead of searching journal articles or writing.

Grade This

2007-10-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

My students should really be happy that I've had a couple of drinks before I grade their essays.

Margaritas: They don't make it better, but they make it possible.

Into a Death Trap

2007-10-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

No, this time I am not referring to my students.
I made the mistake of going to Walmart on a Saturday at 11am. (I'm pretty sure that this means I have officially lost my mind... and right around midterms, not a moment too soon.)

I was adrift in a sea of cart wielding, blue-haired grannies aimlessly wandering through the health and beauty aisles. I was almost hit twice while trying to find the best mascara under $8. I guess it is my fault though, I didn't realize how close I was to the tubs of cold cream and industrial-sized bags of cotton balls. It puzzles me that Walmart can pass on the savings so you can buy a Coke for 25 cents or a gallon of bleach for a dollar, but you can't find mascara that won't flake into your contacts when you're driving for under 5 bucks.

Having found a flake free mascara for only $6, I'll spend the rest of my day grading essays, figuring out how to explain APA format to freshmen without killing myself, and contemplating just what makes me a valuable addition to x PhD program.

Circling the Drain

2007-09-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

Your students are so disrespectful that you walked out of class?!? They say they have nothing to learn from you. Maybe the curriculum is too easy for them. (Would that be the curriculum YOU design and hold me to?) Have you tried SITTING IN A CIRCLE? (Oh, because when I stand in the front of the room, I might seem like a professor that should be respected?) Did you set community standards to follow like I suggested? (Begrudgingly, yes I did.) Oh you did. Hmm.... I'll come by your class; there are lots of different teaching styles you could use. (You're right it must be my approach to teaching and not their attitudes.)

Come on, are you kidding me?

P.S. This is really not helping to bolster my confidence as I apply to PhD programs...teaching abilities, mental stability?!?

Misc.

2007-09-25T11:42:00.001-07:00

Is September too early for "holiday weight?"

WTF Moments

2007-09-24T17:19:00.001-07:00

1. I spent Saturday night at a party where (1) I was the oldest person, (2) I was asked if I would buy a bra used, (3) an inebriated young woman talked to me about the various uses of POOP, and (4) I was called the matriarch of the party.
Also a law student there felt inclined to tell me that he hates cats once he found out I had one. I replied that I hated lawyers.

2. Today at the grocery I realized Jeff Foxworthy has his own brand of beef jerky.

3. My students had to email me a 300 word "paper" about what their college expectations are. It is worth 10% of their grade and the assignment included 5 questions they could answer. I had one student turn it in late and one not turn it in at all. Come on... this is the EASIEST assignment you will get in college.

Santa's Spa

2007-09-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

I went to a spa this past weekend that involved mud baths and a massage. The mud was really more like the bottom of an old lake than something luxurious and my masseuse was an old hippie who was the love child of Santa and Z.Z. Top. But it was still relaxing and I did drink nearly a whole bottle of champagne by myself.

There were also a lot of women that looked like men at the bar my group went to. I haven't decided if it was a post-op tranny tour from SF or just a bunch of middle-aged granola loving locals. When I tell the story to others it will probably be the first of the two.

All in all, a nice break from thinking about the Zapatistas.

Things You Shouldn't Ask Your Professor (Even if they are a grad. assistant)

2007-09-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

1. Is this class a study hall?

2. Yo, did we have homework?

3. Are you in a sorority?

4. So you don't want to have the "real" college experience? (Re: answer to question 3)

5. Is this required?

6. Man that article is fucking long. Do we have to read all of it? (P.S. The article was 10 pages).

More to come, I'm sure.

Too Early to be Jaded

2007-09-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

It is too early, both in the semester and in my career as a teacher, to be so jaded and pessimistic about the quality of the students, but alas so it is.
Since when is "hella shit" a proper response to the question "what is culture?"?
I am constantly dumb-founded by students' complete lack of understanding of what college is (paying tuition only provides you with an opportunity to EARN a degree not the actual BA) and that success requires work (yes, you really do have not only buy the books, but also READ them).
I am also concerned when I hear some of these same quality students say they are looking forward to a career in government or teaching.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2007-09-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

Day one- I'm ready to quit

Oh the Humanity of It All

2007-09-04T16:50:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten the pain of the first day of school.

I arrived on campus at 9 so I could find parking before the class I TA for at NOON. After parking in an unpaved lot miles from my building, I lumbered across campus in the heat to the new and "improved" (more expensive) bookstore. This was not before I was stopped by two exchange students in the parking lot asking for my help reading their campus maps and before I traversed the quad, which for the first week of school is filled with sorority and fraternity booths. Sadly, none of the sororities handed me their information. My first year as a grad student I was offered ONE flyer, but this year none. I guess the lack of huge sunglasses, skinny jeans, and a tube top was a tip-off that I wasn't a co-ed.

At the bookstore I was asked to wait in a line in the sun to check my bag. I informed the security guard, who I was older and-let's face it-beefier than, that I wasn't going to the text book area so I didn't need to check my bag. Thank god someone distracted him so I could slip by. I made my purchase of a paperback Spanish/English dictionary and the cashier tried to give me 5 pieces of paper about book returns. Um, it's a dictionary... I pretty much know what I'm getting myself into. Odds are I'm not going to return it.

But class was good. The syllabus didn't seem to stump anyone and I got to drink coffee and catch up on gossip. All in all a successful first day.

Productivity

2007-08-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

New research has shown that a messy desk is actually a sign of a more productive person. I don't know whether this photo reveals my immense level of productivity or my inability to keep a clean house. There is also the chance that it merely reveals a level of craziness that cannot be paralleled outside academia.

But, somehow I couldn't capture the whole mess as it exends onto the floor, the chair next to me, and the living room. I think the only saving grace is that my "desk" is also my dining room table.

Please note that the bottles of wine are full and in a really beautiful wine rack, which is not visisble because of the piles of papers. I've not resorted to leaving empty wine bottles in the midst of my research, yet.

Progress?

2007-08-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

I've made so little progress since I last wrote about my apathy. It is really sad. My deadline is looming in the distance. And while my thesis has suffered I am now completely up-to-date on Rock of Love, Top Chef, Seasons 1 and 2 of Project Runway, and The Hills. I truely can't believe I wasted a whole weekend with this crap.
On a positive note the hundred degree temperatures will give me ample opportunity to hide in the house and write, after floating around the pool... and maybe an episode of Law and Order, of course.

Jewels of Wisdom

2007-08-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

As part of my TA training I was told that I shouldn't make the students feel as though I have more knowledge than them.
I guess that's a good stance... Let's have the intro students assume that I don't know anything about anthropology. Surely that will foster respect-filled classroom, where they don't text their friends, play on the Internet, etc. while I go over what ethnocentrism is for the 400th time.
And shouldn't I, as a graduate student, know more about not only anthropology, but also several other subjects than the first-time freshmen I will be teaching? Isn't that the point?!?
No. No. You're right, we're all equals.

Back on Campus

2007-08-22T06:02:00.000-07:00

My return to campus has been wonderful, particularly since, for the most part, there aren't any of those pesky students to ruin it.

What I'll miss the most

2007-08-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

With just two days left "on the job" here are recaps of the two conversations I'll miss having the most as an academic in the work-a-day world...
Coworker: "So you're going to school?"
Me: "Yes"
Coworker: "So do you go to school at night?"
Me: "No. I'm done with my class work. I'm just researching and writing my thesis right now."
Coworker: "Oh."
1 week later
Coworker: "So do you go to school at night?"
Me: "No. I'm done with my class work. I'm just researching and writing my thesis right now."
1 week later
Coworker: "So do you go to school at night?"
Me: "Yes, I go to school at night."
Coworker: "Wow, you must be busy."
End Scene

Coworker: "Anthropology, eh."
Me: "Yup, Cultural Anthropology"
Coworker: "Do you ever watch Bones?"
Me: "Sometimes (I lie). She is a forensic Anthropologist. I study cultures."
Coworker: "Cultures? (pause) I thought that would be more like biology."
Me: "Not throat cultures, people's cultures."
Coworker: Oh.
End Scene

Very Important Work

2007-08-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

How Addicted to Coffee Are you
50%- This is completely unacceptable for a graduate student. I think the numbers might be skewed because of my penchant for flavored lattes and the fact that I am not on campus right now, so I am only consuming 1-2 cups of coffee a day. This low level is hardly sustainable by a graduate assistant who is forced to misuse coffee during the day because drinking hard alcohol during office hours is generally shunned--though not always.

Trajectory

2007-08-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

What follows is the basic trajectory of my thesis writing experience:
1. Prospectus approved-Excitement. I am good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.
2. Research begins- I'm in there; I'm doing it. I am on the way to being a scholar.
3. Reality check- Overwhelmed... What am I going to write about? It is here I realize I have no intellectual abilities or original scholarship worth contributing to the field.
4. What life will be like- I could end up being a file clerk or a Starbucks barista for the rest of my life...I did go to a Liberal Arts college and get a degree in Anthropology. That's really just one small step above Art History. Cry. Cry. Cry.
5. They make what?- Apathy; I realize a warehouse manager makes more than I will make post-graduation.
6. Write it out- I finally wrote more than two pages in one sitting...excitement ensues.
7. Realization- I really can turn my prospectus into chapters one and two... EXUBERANCE!
8. Wait a tick- Maybe my research isn't really enough.
9. Stagnation- Repeat steps 3 and 4 over and over and over. Gain weight from emotionally eating.
10. Time keeps on slippin'- Shit, my deadline is only three weeks away...desperation/motivation?
11. Blog Creation- Because it's more fun than an actual thesis.

Radios at Work

2007-08-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

1. I dread every Friday morning. My macchiato from Fivebucks can hardly counter my weekly annoyance with a certain morning program's catch a cheating spouse vignette. In said vignette the radio calls a suspected cheater and see who he/she will send flowers to. Most of the time, it is not their significant other. On Fridays, everyone in Customer Service tunes their radios to hear the spectacle and they, in unison, laugh with glee as cheaters are caught.
Schadenfreude at its finest.
2. How many times can one radio station play that "I'm Coming Home" song in one day?
I get it Chris Daughtry should have won American Idol.

Apathy

2007-08-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

My level of apathy towards my writing this week is astounding, even for me. Last night, I did manage to at least crack a book and ponder its relevance to my section on theory, but I did not take the all important next step of getting up and going to the laptop, much less turning my mental meanderings into a coherent paragraph or two.
My personal deadline of September 1 has mysteriously morphed into the first week of September and I will not allow it to go beyond that, at least that is my stance today.

2 Weeks Notice

2007-08-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

I've turned in my two weeks notice to the "real" job I have. The thought of returning to campus has me filled with giddy excitement. The kind of of giddy excitement that only comes from having been a file clerk for the last 6 months. I'm sure by the end of September I'll be longing for days filled with mindless alphabetizing, mail sorting, and binder creating. Oh, and PHONE ANSWERING. How could I forget? But for now I am looking forward to meeting my new students, consuming unnatural amounts of coffee creamed and sugared beyond recognition, and writing.
Just think I only have to say, "Good morning/afternoon, the X company" roughly 2,000 more times.